As I open my son's backpack to see what treasures he's come home with this time (What would it be? Wet socks? Forgotten food? Overdue library books?) I discover, via a cheerful note, it's the annual class luncheon! Yes, parents! Share your family Christmas Eve food traditions! Bring enough for you and 6 people! No pressure!
I added the last part because, really, I am feeling the pressure. Why, you may wonder? Allow me to introduce myself, and my husband for that matter - Hi, we are the Borings. Perhaps you have heard of us? No? That's because there is nothing to hear.....seriously. If we were a colour, it would be beige - not oatmeal, as it has too much "texture". We don't follow any religion, custom or tradition - and I have never felt the need to until this damn luncheon.
I feel like I should write my son a letter, to apologize for short-changing him somehow because we don't light anything in recognition of, or abstain from something to remember, or go to a gathering to sing and praise. We do not bake the bread of our ancestors; or serve the meal that our forefathers supped on many a cold night during the potato famine, for all they had was cow dung and bay leaves to make a broth from (or something like that). Am I robbing my son of rich delicious traditions that could make a warm family fabric to cover him in?
As I pour over cookbooks, trying to conjure up some inspirational dish to pass off as a diverse family recipe passed down by numerous generations, I have to wonder - why I am sweating this. Is it because I am worried that my dish, my meager offering, will be judged by my son's classmates' parents? Yes, that is absolutely it. Seriously.
The sad thing is, I did grow up with two festive holiday traditions that I cannot bring to a grade one luncheon : my grandmother's flaming plum pudding (rum + matches=open flames) and my parents' beer-batter fondue (sharp spear-like forks dipping raw meat into hot/boiling oil) - on second thought, my son would absolutely love it (food for thought).
I will post my recipe of choice in the next few days as I am still trying to find something believable (and appropriate) to bring. Wish me luck.
